Everything Must Go!

let-it-go1(image from amzlove.wordpress.com)

I had a yard sale yesterday, something millions of people do across America every weekend. As I watched the crowd rummage through and purchase the many things my son and I laid out (in organized fashion, I might add) in the front yard, I entered a deeper grief. I was watching my life being dismantled; my former life, anyway. Twenty-nine years of married life, of family life, being sold off, one tchotchke at a time…one gift-to-him-from-me, one gift-to-me-from-him at a time. A lifetime of memories, sold mostly for a buck or less to perfect strangers looking for a bargain.

The toughest moment was when someone bought the entire box of Christmas ornaments we’d collected over the years; one ornament for each Christmas we were together, from 1985 through 2013. I loved hanging those on the tree every year, watching the collection grow, and wondering what our tree would be like when we were old and had 60+ of those special ornaments. Instead, the collection stopped at 29 and will now be hung on someone else’s tree, commemorating birthdays instead of a marriage.

The man buying the ornaments was excited to give them to his daughter, and I smiled through my tears as I took his money…breathed deeply as I watched him walk away with a box of our history, sold for $5. Such a deal.

When the sale was winding down, with just about everything sold, my son hugged me and encouraged me that all of this was going to open up opportunities for other dreams to come true, that the end of one thing is the beginning of something else, and that I would discover new dreams in my new life. As if to confirm his words, this quote was on Facebook this morning, posted by my friend Sally Ann

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, 
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
– E.M. Forester

I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. 

I took a walk, had a good cry, and then came inside and counted the money…over $550 dollars to put toward moving into my new life. Not a bad haul. It will pay for the U-Haul next weekend and the food to feed my friends who are coming to help me move across town. The rest will go toward moving to SoCal in the spring. 

Kind of poetic how the proceeds from the old are funding the beginning of the new.

I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.


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